I love the sport of basketball and if you are a basketball fan like me you have probably been swept away by Linsanity!

For those of you going “Huh?” – let me explain.

Jeremy Lin who, at the time of my writing this has now started 5 games for the New York Knicks has taken the basketball world by storm. His output has been amazing. The New York Knicks have won all five games. But Jeremy Lin’s story has inspired me and so many others to not give up on our dreams.

Jeremy Lin didn’t receive a single scholarship offer to play basketball in college. Instead he walked on to Harvard’s basketball team and played all four years without a scholarship. Ivy league schools don’t usually get a lot of attention and Lin wasn’t drafted into the NBA. He earned a spot on the Golden State Warriors squad for the 2011 season, but he didn’t play and they cut him on the first day of training camp this season. The Houston Rockets picked him up and let him play a few minutes in two preseason games and then cut him again. The Knicks then picked him up to start the season but quickly sent him down to the D-League (developmental league) and he was only recalled because two other Knicks’ point guards were hurt.

He was given a chance to play coming off the bench against the New jersey Nets on Feb. 4th and scored 25 points. In the next four games he set an NBA record by scoring 109 points in his first four starts in the the league.

He has graced the cover of Sports Illustrated, hit a game winning 3 pointer against the Raptors and dropped 38 on Kobe and the Lakers. Everywhere he goes he is hearing cheers of MVP and people can’t decide which nickname they like more: Linderella or Linspiration.

Jeremy Lin can play basketball and he is proving that, but even more than that he is teaching everyone to not give up on their dream. He had every reason to give up on his, but he didn’t. He wasn’t recruited, wasn’t drafted, was cut several times, was sent down to the D-league, and yet he kept believing. He has gone from sleeping on his brother’s couch in New York City to living in Trump Tower in two weeks. He has gone from being an total unknown to increasing the sales and traffic to the Knicks online store by 3000%.

Linsanity is sweeping the nation not just because he can play basketball – but because he is teaching us all to believe.

__________________
Ty Bennett is the author of The Power of Influence. Described by Peter Vidmar as “How To Win Friends & Influence People for our day.” To learn more or get a copy of The Power of Influence — click here.

-what do you think of the ideas above? What was the biggest lesson you took away from it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Motivation Articles, Essays, Tips and Advice

Everywhere around me I see people desperately searching for happiness.

They seek it in relationships, and I have watched people appear happy in their relationship, whether married or unmarried, and yet the very next minute they separate and seek happiness with yet another partner.

I have seen it as people fill their lives with cars, mansions, overseas holidays, money, and the perfect job – and yet after they have experienced some or all of the above they are still not happy.

So what are the essentials to happiness?

Joseph Addison proposes three. So let’s explore them together. For what is life if you cannot live each day in a state of happiness?

1. Something To Do

To have something to do is to live a life brimming with purpose. It has been my personal experience that when I wake up each morning with a clear plan of what I want to achieve that day, that I find myself in a state of happiness.

During this season of my life, from Monday to Friday I leave my home early each morning to travel to one of a number of my favorite coffee shops with one purpose in mind, and that is to create magnificence. This is a direct result of a decision that I have made to create a blog in the motivational, inspirational, personal development, and positive psychology niche that will rise to be in the top five blogs globally in both influence and profitability within the next twelve months.

In addition I wish to be published by a global publisher. I have self published in the past, and my books have been sold in Australia and the U.K., but with my blog, after just six months of concentrated effort, now reaching people from 150 nations I want my next book to be published by an international publisher so that my book can be read in many of those nations in their own tongue.

So with that ‘to do’ list in my heart and my mind I find myself bounding out of bed each morning, full of energy, exploding with purpose to make it happen – and I am happy.

2. Something To Love

I would also add to the word something the word somebody.

For it is the people whom I love, and who love me for who I am, that make all the difference to my life.

As a father I have been driven to ‘do’ because of the desire in my heart to provide for my family, and to position them for success in their own lives.

As a husband I have done the same for my wife – wanting to create an environment in which she can blossom and become the woman she was created to become in her own unique way.

But at the same time I have learnt to love what I do, and to do what I love.

This has been a process of discovery throughout the years – a pursuit of my passion – but once discovered I have embraced it with both hands.

I pursue the outworking of my passion daily. It is where I spend the majority of my energies. I am fulfilled applying my strengths in that area of endeavor and therein work is not work. Work to me, even hard work, is pure joy – fulfilled happiness exemplified.

3. Something To Hope For

The dream has always drawn me. I have had many dreams.

One was to be in business with my children. I achieved that with my two eldest children when I created a web design company. After seven years of working with them I then assisted them in the launch of their own online businesses.

Now I have my third and youngest child working in my hair salon business – and will equip her in the years to come to launch her own business, if she so desires.

I continue to dream, for these are the things that I hope for. And while ever there is hope there is life.

Happiness resides when you live for a purpose greater than yourself and you live on purpose.

I always dreamt that I would influence people from many nations long before I had ever heard of the Internet or a blog, or ever considered that I could one day be a best selling author.

For someone who never really excelled in English at school this was a total surprise built upon hope and consistent practice.

So if you wish to live a happy and fulfilled life, follow these three steps:

1. Find something to do – something aligned to your strengths and passion.
2. Find something to love, and in your search find someone to love.
3. And lastly find something to hope for, by identifying your personal dreams, and pursue them.

And here’s a question for you: what is your strength and how are you making it stronger?

Motivational Memo Blog

The reason is clear. Everyone experiences stress differently. They perceive stressful situations differently and react to the stress they feel in different ways. A situation which you can cope with easily may cause someone else intolerable anxiety. Simply put, the amount of stress you feel and the way you experience it could be making you ill.

Stress is a leading cause of ill health and is estimated to be partially or completely responsible for 80%-95% of all trips to the physician. It is closely linked to fatal conditions such as strokes and heart disease. And working adults are especially susceptible, as they labor under huge mental and financial stress – with no chance to release it with the traditional fight or flight response. In fact, over 50%of the US labor force now reports they are concerned about the levels of stress in their lives. And more than 8 out of every 10 working Americans now suffer from financial stress.

Not that stress is always a bad thing. Normal levels of stress produce the body’s fight or flight response. In everyday life, it can spur us on to great performances in exams, business presentations, sporting events and even visits from the in-laws! Positive channeling enables the body to relax when the stress event passes.

However, when excessive stress occurs over a long time frame, with no chance to escape from it, as in an acrimonious divorce or a tour of duty in a war zone, then it can lead to damaging psychological and physical ailments which can be fatal if unchecked.

But you won’t be aware of it. In fact, you may even feel that you are coping just fine.

The truth is that the body is designed to adapt. And when confronted by never ending stress, the body starts to see the enduring stress level as “normal”. It reassesses its natural stress state upwards, leaving it unable to relax. Your body will remain in a constant state of high alert. Your stress hormones will be permanently elevated and your natural relaxation response will be compromised. All of this will continue to damage your long term health long after your divorce or return from tour of duty. And you will probably be blissfully unaware of the damage to your long term health right up until the day you have a stroke, heart attack or worse.

Do something today. Recognize just how much stress you are under and start practicing stress relief now.

Rick Thorburn • “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”

Sheree Clark • Honestly Rick, this is my FAVOURITE quote! Is it your own? How very true! Thanks so much for sharing, it’s much appreciated.

Rick Thorburn • Sheree: It’s an inspirational quote from Zig Ziglar. He is an American speaker born 6 november 1926.

Rick Thorburn • Sheree: I also like this quote by the same man.

“You can get anything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Rick

Jorge Bermudez, ACS, AIAA, AIRC, AFSI, ALMI • “hug your life even tighter at its crossroads and enjoy the journey, for this, is where it gets really exciting” ~ book:me myself and I

Shelia Alexander • Never down the man that’s down< but help him in his sorry< for this is funny old world >and you may be down tomorrow!!!!

Sharon Chapman • “Nothing changes if nothing changes” – Jim Rohn

Barry Kolanowski • The most dangerous people are those fail to realize you don’t know what you don’t know.

Marlene Blaszczyk • “I’m going to try to work it out so at the end it’s a pure guts race.

And if it is, I’m the only one who can win.” — Steve PreFontaine

Keith Kemp • “If you believe….you will achieve!”

Shelia Alexander • You have 2 ears and one mouth speak less listen more!!!

Carol Dorn • can you tell me who the author is Sheila

Linda West • “Everything is Energy and that’s all there is to it! Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality….It can be no other way…This is not philosophy, this is Physics!!!! “ Albert Einstein

Dr. Houston Vetter • OK did Uncle Albert REALLY say ‘This is not philosophy, this is Physics.’ If he really did he wasn’t in his right mind at the time, which made his left pretty crowded. I suspect Albert knew that everything is based in a philosophy. Physics is the study of how things work based on the philosophy that things work a certain way and we can figure it out and yet it is still a philosophy.

I agree and I use the philosophy that ‘everything is energy’ and when I want others to agree I quote another philosophy “Quantum Physics/Mechanics” as my proof, defense,convincer etc.

Why is everything a philosophy? Good question… because of the 1st Forgotten Fundamental of Living an Exquisite Life. And that is “The Individual IS the Meaning Maker”. Without the individual there is no meaning and you don’t have to believe anything. But whatever you do believe WILL BECOME your perceived and felt reality. http://docloves.me/howlifeworks

Linda West • I believe he was trying to make things as plain as possible for those out there who certainly try to over think things, analyze every little detail!!! Philosophy being that which can be argued in many different ways and and science being based on facts……however you choose to view it the concept is this and I believe he wanted people to get it…we really do create our own reality!!!!

Chad Stewart • The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it – C.C. Scott

Genny Jones • Life is what you make it, so make it good!

Derek Mills • Are You ‘Just 3 Feet From Gold?’

Today at the Professional Speaking Association meeting in London, I recalled,word for word a poem, from a book that I first read 25 years ago. Just one phrase triggered the whole poem, and I recited it to the whole gathering. It came out easily…

The words came from the classic success book Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill. Oe of the strories shared by the author is the true story of R.U. Darby and his uncle. Over a hundred years ago they were caught up with “gold fever”. They headed west to seek their fortune.

After weeks of labor they were rewarded with an inkling of what they felt might very well turn out to be one of the richest mines in Colorado.

But despite countless days digging and drilling, the profitable vein of gold ore they expected to find never appeared. Frustrated and discouraged, they sold all their equipment to a junk dealer for a few hundred dollars and headed home.

The wise junk dealer called in a SPECIALIST mining engineer who advised that the project had failed because the Darby family weren’t familiar with “fault lines.”

His calculations showed that the vein of gold would be found…

Just three feet from where the derby’s had stopped drilling.

And that’s exactly where the junk dealer discovered one of the largest deposits of gold up to that time that had EVER been discovered.

Napoleon Hill writes, “It rewarded him with millions of dollars because he knew enough to seek expert counsel before giving up.”

Let me ask you something…

If you were just “three feet” away from living your life with wealth AND happiness just by looking at things in a different way, would you seek expert counsel?

How do you know, right now, that you’re not?

What a shame it would be to stop making the effort (or to continue in the wrong direction, for you), when just one more bit of guidance would make it all worthwhile. Let me be your ‘Specialist’ to see if you are indeed 3 feet from gold!

Shelia Alexander • Quitters never win” Winners never quit!!

Josh Kallmeyer • “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.”

Carol Dorn • “Fake it ’till you make it!”

Kimberly Hellyar • Faith until you make it!

Chad Stewart • Can’t

Can’t is the worst word that’s written or spoken;

Doing more harm here than slander and lies;

On it is many a strong spirit broken,

And with it many a good purpose dies.

It springs from the lips of the thoughtless each morning

And robs us of courage we need through the day:

It rings in our ears like a timely-sent warning

And laughs when we falter and fall by the way.

Can’t is the father of feeble endeavor,

The parent of terror and half-hearted work;

It weakens the efforts of artisans clever,

And makes of the toiler an indolent shirk.

It poisons the soul of the man with a vision,

It stifles in infancy many a plan;

It greets honest toiling with open derision

And mocks at the hopes and the dreams of a man.

Can’t is a word none should speak without blushing;

To utter it should be a symbol of shame;

Ambition and courage it daily is crushing;

It blights a man’s purpose and shortens his aim.

Despise it with all of your hatred of error;

Refuse it the lodgment it seeks in your brain;

Arm against it as a creature of terror,

And all that you dream of you some day shall gain.

Can’t is the word that is foe to ambition,

An enemy ambushed to shatter your will;

Its prey is forever the man with a mission

And bows but to courage and patience and skill.

Hate it, with hatred that’s deep and undying,

For once it is welcomed ’twill break any man;

Whatever the goal you are seeking, keep trying

And answer this demon by saying: “I can.”

* A. Guest

Brigitte Moors • completely true!

Paul O’Donoghue • “Good intentions are a BAD Habit”…………Jimmy Treanor

Brigitte Moors • yes indeed! – the answer is: Action! you can, I can, we can !!!!

Larry D. Patton • Dr. Maxwell Maltz once said, “Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed were possible.’ He went on to say, and that power becomes available to you the moment you begin to believe in yourself and in your dreams.” So here’s my challenge to you, release the power in your to create what you deserve, I DARE YOU!

Brian Cohen DTM • Brian I don’t think you can. That always motivates me, maybe you too

ChaChanna Simpson • “You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way.” Jennifer J. Freeman

Gloria Willis • Just Do It!! Nike

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • I have many quotes hanging on the walls by my computer, but the two below are two of my favorites.

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller.

“When enthusiasm is inspired by reason; controlled by caution; sound in theory; practical in application; reflects confidence; spreads good cheer; raises morale; inspires associates; arouses loyalty; and laughs at adversity’ it is beyond price.” – Coleman Cox

Warren Macdonald • When you change the way you see the world, you change the world.

Beverley Abel • Our Desires are there to be Fulfilled…not to Torment us!!!

Carol Dorn • thanks Warren that is one of my favorites

Carol Dorn • Gloria that is one i use all time in training. It is a motto for me. I would love to meet the mind that created that one small ad line that stuck with me all this time.

Jon Yeo • If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.” – H. D. Thoreau

Cathy Ryan • Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, either way you are correct. Henry Ford

Kathy Brunner • Will you look back on life and say, “I wish I had,” or “I’m glad I did”?” ~ Zig Ziglar

Avis Pope • I am new to the group. Thank you for starting this topic Peter. The quote that I wrote which changed my life is: Quote 52: “Powerful women will cross the “Bridge of Brilliance” that will route them to a highway of endless opportunities.”

Wahida Finlay • “Your Creative Mind works best when your conscious mind is either in abeyance (asleep) or pleasantly occupied”….Ben Sweetland in Grow Rich While You Sleep.

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • Just a suggestion (again) to anyone posting quotes. No matter what you think is correct, let me be the bearer of something you may not be aware of.

When you quote someone, anyone, you MUST put in quotation marks like this ” ”

Then when your done quoting, you are suppose to pay honor and respect to its author by NAMING that author. Please people, if you’re going to put up a quote (maybe someone would like to know the author) PLEASE PUT THE AUTHOR’S NAME. Yes, I’m an expert before you even ask. I love quotes, even some that have been posted on here. Some of us on here I’m sure would love to have some of these quotes posted in our office or home.

However, if you are like me…..you don’t take a quote or use a quote unless you have an authors name to that quote. Yes, I’m a perfectionist who is far from perfect. And yes I believe if your going to do something….do it right.

But we have NO way of knowing who wrote it or better said: who the author is because most of you do not put the other down.

“Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.” – William A. Ward

There you go folks. Nice, easy quote encapsulated within quotation marks with an author’s name. Perfect. It doesn’t get any better than that.

Dominic Bennett • “A black belt is a white belt who does not give up.”

Dominic Bennett • “I cannot change the world, but I can change the world in me” – Bono

Alma Rosa Gonzalez • One of my favorite motivational quotes: Life’s challenges are not suppose to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.—Bernice Johnson Reagan

Gayle Rodgers • Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. – Thoreau

Beca Lewis • “… my prayer, some daily good to do To Thine, for Thee; An offering pure of Love, whereto God leadeth me.” – Mary Baker Eddy

Peter G. J. Sinclair – Motivator • While ever there is breath in my body I will persist.

Lenita Womack • “We must become the change we would like to see.” Mahatma Gandhi. These words keep me encouraged to look outside of myself to help motivate and support others.

Manjit Kaur • Believe in yourself…………. this works for me

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • “Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.” – William A. Ward

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • “Don’t solve your problems, dissolve your problems–so that they should not occur again.” – Yogi Bhajan

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • “Identifying one’s own reputation is part of the solution to any given perception.” – Nick C. Cicchino, MABC

Ria Collett • If I want more, I need to become more.

Kimberly Caccamise • Be the best thing that ever happened to yourself.

Terri Dunevant • LOVE that one Kimberly!

Shelia Alexander • JUST SAY NO!!!

Rajan Kottapuram • Success is not in doing different things. But it is in doing things DIFFERENTLY.

Dennis James Deegan CTM • What you see depends on what you look for.

Dennis James Deegan CTM • Your attitude determines your altitude

Raoul Dewhurst • A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

DeBorah Beatty – OPD • From the movie, Australia – Just because it’s always been doesn’t mean it has to be.

Peter G. J. Sinclair – Motivator • When asked about the added benefits of living to be 100 years old, the centenarian smiled and said, ‘There’s very little peer pressure once you reach my age.’

Gregory Ketchum • I offer two in tandem – Theilhard de Chardin is to have said, “We are not so much human beings having a spiritual experience as we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” and this one by Caroline Myss, “Your biography is your biology.” In tandem they provide a grounded yet infinite perspective.

Tatiana Milan, PHR • A good person is a bad person’s teacher.

A bad person is a good person’s work.

It is a grave mistake to disrespect your teacher.

It is a grave mistake not to love your work. – TAO

p.s. enjoyed all previously mentioned

Linda West • Expect everything and attach to nothing!!!! by Wayne Dyer

Pernille Svensson (Potentialeudvikling.dk) • “The longest journey that you will make in your life is from your head to your heart.” Gary Zukav

JoAnna Brandi • “How good can you stand it?”

I found it on a post it note on a friend’s computer and it changed my life.

Lily Trainor • “Challenges are what makes life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” -Joshua J. Marine

Larry D. Patton • “There will be times in your life when you will have to believe in yourself even when know one else believes in you, never underestimate the power of your vision, what’s inside of you, that’s makes you special. Mr. DYNAMIC Himself, Larry D.

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • “Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” – Ralph Blum

Dr. Thom A. Lisk • People are worth loving, look at what is right, and not what is wrong.

John Bisbal • Just do it!

Clayton Iverson • Greatness is measured in the willingness to serve – MLK Jr.

Rick Thorburn • “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

Jason C. Kelley • Live as though all of your dreams have come true and challenge reality to catch up.

Derrick Blaszkowski • “There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who seek security and those who seek freedom.” ~ Robert Kiyosaki

Carl Michael • All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is necessary is only to try to think them again. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Colleen Humphries • “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole stair case, just the first step.” Martin Luther King

Chad Stewart • Despite popular belief to the contrary, there is absolutely no power in intention. The seagull may intend to fly away, may decide to do so, may talk with the other seagulls about how wonderful it is to fly, but until the seagull flaps his wings and takes to the air, he is still on the dock. There’s no difference between that gull and all the others. Likewise, there is no difference in the person who intends to do things differently and the one who never thinks about it in the first place. Have you ever considered how often we judge ourselves by our intentions while we judge others by their actions? Yet intention without action is an insult to those who expect the best from you ― Andy Andrews

Avril Tighe (LION) • I think Aristotle summed it up: We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence therefore is not an act but a habit.

Chad Stewart • Excellence is an art won by training and habituation – Aristotle

Quality is not an act; it is a habit – Aristotle

In all things of nature, there is something of the marvelous – Aristotle

Hope is a waking dream – Aristotle

Lily Trainor • Jump start your year of possibility… your year of change… your year of promise!

Chad Stewart • If you could get up the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed – David Viscott

Judy Pearson • When you said YES! to Life you gave up the right to be ordinary.

Jackie Brooks • The greatest thing you have to give is your time

Steve Coscia • “If you want to predict the future, invent it.” -Peter Drucker

Chad Stewart • A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lily Trainor • “We are so often caught up in our destination that we forget to appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet on the way. Appreciation is a wonderful feeling, don’t overlook it.”

Mark Gomez • You are the influence-ers not the infiuencies —Mom

Sandy Schussel • “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Napoleon Hill

Carl Michael • A man always has two reasons for doing anything: a good reason and the real reason.

Carol Dorn • This is very true. I was just wondering are you the author?

Sara Paton • (Life is a series of moments) It’s the moments that make you fulfilled. – Tony Robbins

What is it that you love about this moment?

Natasha Shamone-Gilmore • This quote stays with me daily: “YES YOU CAN!” I also like “finding a job, is a job!”

John Cimino • Go out on a limb. That’s where the best fruit is!

Lily Trainor • When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves…Victor Frankl

L.Paul Ouellette • If job security is your goal, you may never develop your true potential. LPO

Chad Stewart • It is never too late to become what you might have been – George Eliot

Carol Dorn • note to John… “it’s the best”.”.Pretty Women” Aim High I love them all but yours made me smile

Carol Dorn • I love this all!

Carol Dorn • “If you think you can,you can. If you think you can’t,you can’t. ” I have this on my desk. I don’t know who the author is.

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • @Carol: Just for your edification and clarification here is the quote word by word.

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

Terri Dunevant • I was just going to respond to Carol, you beat me Nick. There are so many forms of this now. The one I like best and say to my kids all the time is “Whether you think you can do it or not, you’re always right!”

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • @Terri: I’m a very active poster in a few groups on here. But when it comes to quotes, my ears pin back like a dog. LOL

Yes there are a few different versions of this quote and other quotes as well. A lot of motivational speakers and trainers like dropping a word or two from the original quote and putting their word into it and claiming it as their own.

I’m all about originality though.

“Should we all confess our sins to one another we would all laugh at one another for our lack of originality” – Kahlil Gibran

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • One of the hundreds of quotes I have hanging on the walls of my office and probably one of the top ten on my best quote list.

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller

Terri Dunevant • Can’t imagine Kahlil laughing – such a somber man. Always like to give credit, but also translate for those who just don’t get it in it’s original form.

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • @Terri: I guess you’re doing a lot of translating than.

Lisa Houston • One must overcome to become…it was a pivotal moment in changing my thinking

Dave Van Pelt • Ask and ye shall receive and doubt and go without

Cheryl Mills • Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Confucius

Dave Van Pelt • Life by the inch is a cinch and by the yard it is hard.

Noah Davis • “Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It is courage that counts.” ~ Winston Churchill

Vasilka Atanasova • “To live means to fight! The slave fights for freedom, the free man fights for perfection.”

A Bulgarian Revolutionary, Yane Sandanski

Lily Trainor • Make life an exciting adventure…

Kat Smith • It’s not the load that breaks you. It’s how you carry it. Lena Horn

Sometimes we carry loads that are old and damaging. We need to put them down and leave them were we sit them. Holding grudges or grief and past past hurts can ruin a bright future. So embrace this day of love and set yourself free of carrying loads.

Joseph Facchiano • “To be truly great, you must serve others.” — Jesus Christ

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller.

Marlene Blaszczyk • “No man is ever whipped until he quits… in his own mind.” – Napoleon Hill

Shelia Alexander • Go out on a limb that’s where the best fruit is

Lenita Womack • “I love to accomplish a great and noble task,but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble.” Helen Keller

Carol Dorn • still my fave Shelia spent my adult life that way.

Gerry Hartigan • This is one of my own. “If you don’t have a vision for the future you have no incentive to change your present.”

Alveno Smith • Everyone is blessed with an equal opportunity to be unequal.

Alveno Smith • It’s not what you call me but what I answer to. (African Proverb)

Cathy Horvath • No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an unchartered land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit…Helen Keller

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller.

Jason Scott • Pray like everything depends on God, work like everything depends on you.

Eric Smith • Long ago, it’s said, a Cherokee elder told his grandson,

“There is a battle between two wolves inside each of us.

One is Evil: anger, jealousy, regret, greed,

arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, & lies.

The other is Good: joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,

humility, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

Said the child, “Which wolf wins?”

To which the elder replied, “The one you feed.”

– John Bisagno, 1965

Joseph Facchiano • Eric, thank you! I love that story. I have never heard it before. How true it is!

Matt Bennett • I believe it was Cavett Robert, the founder of the National Speaker’s Association NSA who said “It’s not about getting rid of the butterflies in your stomach, it’s about making them fly in formation.” I believe the day we no longer have butterflies is the day we no longer care about our audiences.

Eric Smith • Joseph: My pleasure. It’s the central premise of my book.

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • @Matt: Help me understand the analogy you make with having “butterflies” and “caring” for any given audience. I don’t want to assume anything.

When I get the butterflies its because I am nervous or filled with anxiety. I do care about the audience of course as well as the message I share with them. However, I also care for those I speak to even when I don’t have the butterflies.

We’re all made differently and have different ways of handling certain situations.

Matt Bennett • Nick: I believe the last line of your comment sums up most of my reply. We’re all made differently and have different ways of handling certain situations. Nervousness and anxiety are indeed causes of butterflies. For me, a full-time, paid professional speaker who stands in front of 150-175 audiences around the globe every year, intensity, enthusiasm and sheer restrained energy lead to butterflies. Knowing that the message the audience has come to hear is up to me to deliver in such a way that they leave inspired and educated creates butterflies. The sheer weight of that responsibility to the audience is what I refer to when I say that the day we no longer feel that responsibility to the point of a physiological response, that’s the day we need to walk off the stage.

Cathy Horvath • Found this one on a wall in Tucson many years ago but I think about it a lot. “Let he who would criticize me walk first a mile in my moccasins.”

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • @Matt: Well I can not make the same claim as far as the amount of audiences I speak in front of, except that I have a lot more to catch up to you. In addition, I have no need(nor desire) to travel the globe. There are enough people here in this country (for me) that need help, guidance, motivation, and inspiration. My hope is to touch and motivate as many as I can.

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • @Cathy: I have something similar hanging on my walls of quotes. Here it is: ”Empathy depends not only on one’s ability to identify someone else’s emotions but also on one’s capacity to put oneself in the other person’s place and to experience an appropriate emotional response” Charles G. Morris

Maria Capuano • Get Up and Do It; Don’t Just Dream!

Anshul Agarwal • Its better to wear out than to rust out.

Raoul Dewhurst • ‘In the long run we are all dead’ – John Maynard Keynes.

May seem a little dark at first but its undeniable truth reminds you not to take life too seriously and to smile at troubles, which in the end, have no real meaning.

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • @Raoul: You used the correct words when you said the quote is ” a little dark”. But it has an undeniable truth to it like you mentioned. Here’s one for you, a little more positive looking.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” – Maria Robinson

Jan Rafael Møller • Most smiles , started with another smile ! So SMILE and have a great weekend

Nick C. Cicchino, MABC • @Jan: Good suggestion. Reminds me of one my favorite quotes:

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo F. Buscaglia

Cathy Horvath • If you do not have the opportunity to do great things, you can do small things in a great way.

Kieran Revell • When you learn to like, love, respect and believe in yourself, the negativity of others will no longer have any effect in or over your life!

Kieran Revell • It’s not what others say about that’s important in your life: Its in fact the loving and supportive feelings you hold about yourself which will ultimately steer your boat safely through stormy seas’

Lily Trainor • “From small beginnings come great things.”………Proverb

Related posts:

1. More Motivational Quotes That Have Changed People’s Lives
2. 80 Motivational Quotes That Can Change Your Life Too
3. How To Develop & Maintain A Winning Attitude

Motivational Memo Blog -

Motivational Memo Blog

Once upon a time there was a small child known as you.

This child was born into the world pure and perfect, aware only of its own needs. If those needs were met, if someone held you, fed you, kept you safe and warm, your world was perfect.

Even as you got a bit older, if your parents were loving and kind, you still had a strong sense of yourself as you explored the world and discovered the wonders of living.

But around the time of kindergarten, things started to change. You encountered other children whose words stung, who were faster, stronger, smarter, prettier. You had to perform in school, to win the teacher’s approval, to follow the rules. You saw where you didn’t measure up, where you weren’t quite good enough.

You learned quickly that approval and love can be tied to ability, performance, appearance, personality, and conformance. Even your parents, as much as they loved you, subtly reinforced these new rules with their hopes and expectations for you.

As you entered adolescence, all of your own insecurities were reflected in the cruel words and hurtful behaviors of your peers and the images portrayed in the media.

But hopefully, along the way, you had enough successes, enough love, enough encouragement for your self-confidence to have a foothold. However, if your home life was dysfunctional, critical, or abusive in some way, the self-confidence that was budding as a toddler was never able to fullybloom, especially not during the difficult teenage years.

Once you reached adulthood, left home, and began your own life, you had a choice, whether you were conscious of it or not. You had the choice to stay tethered to the dysfunction, pain, disappointments, and fears of your youth, or to take control of your life and create it anew.

• Maybe you weren’t aware you had this choice.

• Maybe you didn’t have the skills to know how to take control.

• Maybe your pain was too deep to have the energy to find a way.

• Maybe you were too committed to the “stories” about you being lazy, unmotivated, the pleaser, shy, unattractive, incapable, not good enough.

• Maybe you became too dependent on others to tell you who you are and what you are supposed to be.

Well, now you are a full-fledged adult, and whether your are 25 or 55, I’d like to assure you that you do have a choice.

You can learn the skills.

You can overcome the pain.

You don’t have to accept the “stories.”

You can define your life on your own terms.

You can have self-confidence.

It all starts with the belief that with practice, change and growth are not only possible, they are inevitable.

It starts with a willingness to view yourself and the world differently.

Your identity is not locked to the past, to your parent’s expectations or demands, to your past failures, to your current view of yourself. Your identity is something that you can create every single day. Once you realize that, your self-confidence will begin to ignite.

I know that everyone has different levels of self-confidence problems. Some of you might have really debilitating wounds that need to heal. Some may have personality types that are more introverted or shy. Some may lack self-confidence in just one area of life where others have no self-confidence at all.

But regardless of where you are related to self-confidence, there are some actions you can take today, right now, that will put you in the driver’s seat of your life and begin to improve your self-confidence.

Here are 20 that you can try:

1. Challenge your thoughts. Identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself and challenge them. Find evidence to the contrary.

2. Retrain your brain. Negative thinking becomes a habit ingrained in your brain. Rewire your brain by intentionally thinking new and positive thoughts, even if it feels awkward at first. You will create new wiring and new habits.

3. Smile. Arranging your facial muscles in a smile actually makes you feel happier and more confident. It triggers those feelings in your brain.

4. Stand up straight. Pay attention to your posture. It makes you appear more self-confident and therefore you feel more self-confident.

5. Practice. If you lack self-confidence in a skill, practice it. With improvement comes confidence.

6. Make a list. Write down your skills, abilities, successes, and gifts. In moments of low self-confidence, you forget all of the great things about you. Write them down so you can remember.

7. Interact. Isolating yourself allows you to get lost in negative thinking. Spend time withe other people. Make yourself, even if you don’t feel like it.

8. Create boundaries. Low self-confidence often goes hand-in-hand with people-pleasing. How are you allowing someone to control your decisions or behavior? What is one thing you could do to create a boundary here and reclaim yourself?

9. Write a vision. Write down exactly how you would like your life to look if you were creating it from scratch. When you put it in writing, you have begun the process of creating it.

10. Look your best. Take care of your appearance. Dress nicely. Get your hair styled. Put on make-up. When you look your best, you feel more self-confident.

11. Challenge a fear. Where are you holding yourself back? Where are you afraid of failure? Take one teeny tiny action in that area. Then another.

12. Hug your failures. Take a good look at past failures. Write down what you learned from them and how they served you. See how failure has been kind to you.

13. Define your values. Write down your most important life values. How are you living contrary to those values? What is one action you could take to correct that?

14. Find a mentor. Who is someone inspiring and motivating to you? Learn more about them, how they conduct their lives, and how they got where they are.

15. Focus on now. Most self-confidence problems stem from worry about the future or regret about the past. Focus on the task at hand. Immerse yourself in it so your mind is happily engaged.

16. Do something for others. When you are kind and giving by choice, you will find immense satisfaction and confidence in sharing and serving others.

17. Plan a pity party. If you need to dwell on your problems or failures, just allow yourself a 10 minute pity party a day.

18. Try something new. Anything. A hobby, a sport, a recipe. Just do something that you haven’t done before.

19. Read something inspirational. Keep a motivational book with you to give yourself a booster shot of self-confidence. One of my favorites is Fearless: Creating the Courage to Change the Things You Can by success coach Steve Chandler.

20. Call in reinforcements. Take a class to help you improve your self-confidence. And if you have issues from the past that you can’t resolve, seek the support of a counselor so that you can move forward.

PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement| PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Whatever goals you’re working towards in life, whatever dreams you have, you’ll want to give yourself the best possible chance of success.
You might be trying to lose weight, start your own business, write a book, redecorate the house … these tips apply to almost any sizeable project.

#1: Get Help and Support

Having a bit of help from family, friends or colleagues – or simply some friendly support – can make a world of difference. Sometimes, this means direct assistance: your best friend might come over at the weekend to help you redecorate.

Often, though, the help and support from the people around you comes a little more indirectly. It might be your parents taking care of the kids for a few hours so you can work on your book, or your spouse taking care of the chores while you write your business plan.

#2: Have Money Available

Not all projects need to cost money … but having some spare cash available is still a good idea. If you can save up a small emergency fund, unexpected crises are much less likely to derail all your good plans. And if you find you need to invest in some software for your new business, or your redecorating costs end up higher than expected, you don’t have to worry about spending the money.

If you set aside just $ 10 each week, you’ll have $ 520 at the end of the year. It’s not a fortune – but it could easily be enough to make the difference between failure and success.

#3: Take Care of Your Body

Don’t push yourself too hard. In order to be at your best mentally, you need to be in good physical shape too. That means eating healthy foods that give you sustained energy as well as exercising on a regular basis.

It’s often tempting to cut back on sleep when you’re working on a lot of different goals. Try to avoid this: you’ll be putting your health at risk, and you may not really gain any extra productive time – you’ll end up working slowly (or procrastinating more) because you’re tired.

#4: Be Positive

As you’re working towards your goal, you might find yourself thinking things like “I’ll never be thin, so I might as well give up and eat this huge slice of cake” or “I’ll never find a publisher for my book, so what’s the point in writing it?”

Replace these negative voices with more positive messages. You might even want to write down some encouraging thoughts, like “I know I can lose weight successfully. Every pound I lose makes me healthier” or “I really enjoy writing.”

#5: Write Down Your Goals

Whatever you’re planning to do, write it down – ideally, somewhere you’ll see regularly (perhaps on a small card in your wallet, or on your computer’s desktop). It’s easy to let days go by without working on any of your goals … but a written reminder will help keep you on track.

Writing your goals down is also a great way to truly commit to them. It’s easy to keep saying “I want to lose weight” or “I want to write a book” or “I’m going to start my own business someday” – but it’s harder to actually take the first step towards that goal. You may even want to write a deadline alongside your goal to help you stay focused (e.g. “Finish the first draft of my book before my next birthday” or “Lose 20lbs before our summer vacation.”)

#6: Break Big Projects into Little Steps

Your goals are almost certainly too big to tackle in a single day or even a single week: you’re going to be working at them over several months or even years. So that you don’t get stuck or discouraged, break down each goal or project into small steps.

For instance, if your goal is to run your own business full-time, your first step might be to write a business plan. Step two could be setting up a website, and step three might be getting your very first client. You don’t have to get all the way to step twenty – quitting your day job – in one big leap.

#7: Don’t Try to Do Too Much

It’s often tempting to tackle a whole range of great goals at once: losing weight and writing a book and redecorating the house and making time to catch up with old friends … and while you might keep up your enthusiasm and energy for a week or two, you’re quickly going to run yourself into the ground.

Rather than trying to achieve ten goals, only to give up on them all, aim for just one or two big goals at a time. This helps you stay focused and it also gives you sufficient down-time – essential if you’re going to be successful in reaching your goals over the long-term.

Do you have any great success tips to add? Or is there something from this list that you want to try in your own life? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement| PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

“You are beautiful no matter what they say. Words can’t bring you down, no, no. Cause you are beautiful in every single way. Yes words can’t bring you down.” ~lyrics from ‘Beautiful’ by Christina Aguilera

(Note: Men, please share this with the women in your life.)

It’s hard to be beautiful — and even harder to feel beautiful.

The current media ideal for womenís overall appearance is achievable by less than 2% of the female population. But we are bombarded with this unrealistic ideal.

Young women today see more images of exceptionally beautiful women in one day than our mothers saw throughout their entire teenage years. It’s no wonder that 8 out of 10 women are dissatisfied with their appearance.

The standards of female beauty have become progressively more unrealistic and unattainable. We need full-time hairdressers, make-up artists, physical trainers, and dietitians just to attempt to keep up.

The truth is that most of us aren’t “beautiful” by the current media standards of beauty. And even models and actresses are outed as less than perfect when they are caught in their natural state by lurking tabloid photographers. Maintaining that standard of perfection must be exhausting and humiliating.

Even though we know this standard of beauty is unrealistic and unattainable, most of us spend far to much time, emotional energy, and money attempting to keep up. It doesn’t matter whether you are young with enviable skin and a tight butt or beginning to see gray hairs and wrinkles, you probably focus far more on your perceived flaws than you do on any aspect of your true beauty.

Although physical attractiveness can help you get a foot in the door, it has very little to do with sustaining relationships and even less with developing real self-confidence. We’ve all seen beautiful people who open their mouths and become instantly less attractive, or unattractive people who become more and more appealing because they exude something special.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to wave a magic wand and eliminate all of the insecurities and self-loathing that is wrapped up in the struggle for beauty? What if you could just walk away from it all and just live your life focused on what makes you joyful and confident?

With practice, this can be done! For those of us in the 99% who will never make it on the pages of a magazine, we can feel absolutely beautiful by shifting our actions and attitude.

Here are 36 ways to start feeling absolutely beautiful right now:

1. Smile. It lights up your face. It triggers happiness in your brain. It makes others feel happy.

2. Remember your posture. Stand up straight. Hold your head high. Throw those shoulders back. You look confident, energetic, amazing!

3. Focus on the best not the worst. Stop staring at the wrinkle or the bulge. Quit comparing yourself to Patty Perfect. Let your “worst” features recede and focus on your best instead. You have far more beautiful features than you see!

4. Be amazed at the wonder of your body. No matter your size, shape, or age, your body is a miraculous temple. Observe how wondrously it operates to house the beautiful person you are.

5. Appreciate your flaws. You are part of the Great Community of Flawed Persons. Welcome to the club. So embrace your flaws as a reminder of your connection to humanity. Flawed is the new perfect.

6. Be expressive. When you are animated and expressive, the fullness of your personality shines through. What could be more beautiful?

7. Get excited. Allow yourself to be enthusiastic and excited about life. Don’t let your concerns about appearance hold you back from embracing the beauty of living. It will reflect back on you!

8. Break a sweat. Get some exercise. Put on that lovely spandex and move your beautiful body. Get an endorphin high. Let your hair get sweaty and greasy. Through the sweat you are shining like star!

9. Practice beautiful movement. Try ballet, tai chi, yoga or some other movement that is fluid and allows your body to respond in beautiful new ways.

10. Acknowledge your inner beauty. Get pen and paper and write down all of the beauty that you do, that you give, that you create, and that you are. You are a powerhouse of beauty.

11. Show kindness. A kind person is exquisite in their beauty. It shines from them like a beacon of hope and peace.

12. Don’t try too hard. Don’t overdo it with make-up or clothes. Don’t spend thousands getting surgery. Don’t exercise yourself to death. When you try too hard, you look desperate. It’s hard to feel beautiful when you feel desperate.

13. Don’t act your age. Your age doesn’t define you or your capacity for beauty. In fact, age ripens you and provides a lushness to your bad, beautiful self! Live the age you feel.

14. Create something. Creativity is the handmaiden of beauty. Creativity is beauty expressing itself through you. Paint, write, garden, scult, cook, sew, decorate — be creative and you will feel beauty spilling out of every pore.

15. Inspire others. As the poet Rumi writes, “Let the beauty we love be what we do.” Do beautiful things. Live beauty. Be beauty. You will inspire others through your beauty.

16. Stop your thoughts. It’s hard to feel beautiful when your brain is whirring away like a ticker tape with negative thoughts about your appearance or age. When you are trapped in those thoughts, stop yourself and redirect your thinking.

17. See yourself through the eyes of a loved one. View yourself the way those dearest to you see you. Offer yourself the love they offer you. Feel the beauty they feel around you.

18. Connect with the beauty of nature. You are part of the natural world in all of its infinite glory and seasonal changes. As you experience nature, become aware of your connection to the beauty around you.

19. Listen to beautiful music. Certain music speaks to your soul. It touches and enlivens the most spiritual and beautiful parts of ourselves. Listen to Brandenburg Concertos #5 by Bach to feel your beauty come alive.

20. Make love. No explanation needed.

21. Wear clothes well. If you aren’t a natural at dressing to suit your body type, age, and coloring, find someone to help you find clothing highlight the beauty inside of you.

22. Hug often. Share loving physical touch with friends and family. It’s a beautiful thing!

23. Get enough sleep. You know what lack of sleep does to your appearance, not to mention your mental health. A good night’s sleep is a mini facelift!

24. Dance. Dance alone. Dance with a partner. Dance like no one is watching. Dancing makes you feel like a beautiful child, carefree and happy.

25. Update your make-up. Make sure your make-up doesn’t look dated, too heavy, or just wrong. Sometimes we get stuck in make-up ruts. An new look can highlight your most beautiful features.

26. Have a beautiful mind. Don’t corrupt your mind with ugly thoughts about yourself or others. Don’t dwell on unpleasant things. Don’t watch violence or negative programs or movies. Fill your thoughts with loveliness.

27. Stop smoking. It ages your skin, it smells bad, it’s bad for you, and it doesn’t reflect self-love. Dropping this bad habit will instantly make you feel more beautiful.

28. Be outgoing, even if it’s hard. Initiate conversations. Show interest in people. Make introductions. Smile. Bridging the gap between stranger and friend feels beautiful.

29. Do physical work. If you have a desk job, sometimes you miss the beauty of a task completed with the physical evidence of your accomplishment. Do something physical like washing the car, raking leaves, gardening, etc. to see the fruits of your labor. Moving, working, accomplishing — that feels beautiful!

30. Take care of your teeth. Since you are now smiling often, you want your teeth to look their pearly best. White, clean teeth make you look ten years younger. Plus, it’s hard to smile if you are embarrassed about your teeth.

31. Create beauty around you. Let your surroundings reflect the beauty inside of you. Remove clutter. Clean windows. Add flowers. Let your home be filled with your beauty.

32. Cook a beautiful meal. Well-prepared, healthy, and delicious food prepared by loving hands is beauty for the mouth and the soul.

33. Reduce stress. Anxiety, a furrowed brow, a tense frown, hunched shoulders are all the physical manifestations of stress. Find the cause of your stress and do something to relieve it. Shine the light of your beauty on the situation. It might dissolve.

34. Exude self-confidence. Show the world that you know you are beautiful where it counts. Your self-confidence rises in direct proportion to your self-acceptance. Love the unique and beautiful person you are and share that with the world.

35. Dress up. Life has gotten increasingly casual. Dress up on occasion. In fact, be the best dressed person in the room. Wear red! Turn a few heads.

36. Express gratitude. Be grateful for everything you are and everything you have. The handful of complaints you have about your appearance is nothing compared to the cornucopia of blessings that surround you. Bathe in the beauty of your blessings, and it will transform you from the inside out.

Barrie Davenport is a personal and career coach and the founder of Live Bold and Bloom, a blog about fearless personal growth. She is the author of the free guide 7 Key Ingredients to a Meaningful Life.

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PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement| PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

There is such an immense push, especially in the world of personal development, to pursue success, and yet there is something so much deeper that needs to be embedded into a life’s foundations if it is, in my view, to be truly successful – that of being a life of immense value.

But value is a multi-faceted word, which I would like to take a closer look at. So here are 5 facets that I believe constitute the life of the person who seeks to become a person of immense value.

1. The Value Of Integrity

Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

As I have surveyed families, business and other organization, one of the key traits that I have noticed that has driven these collections of individuals apart has so often been a lack of honesty between the parties involved. To their face they are and say one thing, and then behind their back it’s a totally different story. The end result is ultimately distress, disaster and division.

Within my immediate family we have always made it our practice to be so open and honest with each other that at times it has been rather confrontational. But the good news is that when confrontation is coupled with love and forgiveness, the shackles of whatever has bound each of the parties crumbles and falls to the ground.

When it comes to morality, each of us has been created with a moral compass that was implanted into our being the very moment we were conceived. We can choose to follow it and maintain a course of peace and joy. Or rather we can ignore it to our ultimate demise.

Listen to your God-given conscience and watch what wonderful things will come your way throughout your integrous lifetime.

2. The Value Of Reliability

This value is coupled with keeping your word. If you say that you will do something or be somewhere then do it and be there, even if it is uncomfortable or inconvenient.

Oh look, none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes, but with all your being seek to be a man or woman of honor. Let your yes be yes and your no be no.

If for some reason you can’t do something then say that you can’t. If you can do something then say that you can. Be renowned as the reliable one – the trustworthy one.

3. The Value Of Quality

If you’re going to do something do it with a spirit of excellence attached.

Go beyond the call of duty. Add a touch of class. Give 110%. Provide with passion. Invest your heart and soul in the assigned task. Listen. Learn and live the quality life. Don’t wait to be asked. Volunteer. Lend a hand. Dig deep.

Let your quality start at home by providing a quality of life environment for your family to live in, developing quality relationships, providing quality love and support, and then carry that quality over and into the workplace, and the organizations within which you serve.

4. The Value Of Investment

This goes far beyond financial investment. This is an investment of love, of knowledge, of encouragement, of support, of wisdom, of just being there for those who are part of your immediate family, and then on to your circle of friends and associates and further afield.

This is where the value of being a mentor for others is so important. So make sure that as you learn that you position yourself to also hand on to others what you have learned through the power of sharing.

Whatever you learn is not to be locked away in a vault, but rather to be sown as a seed into the hearts and lives of others.

The added value that arises in your own life as a direct result of being the teacher is that you will learn so much more.

5. The Value Of Love

Now don’t get all soppy on me as I share with you the word love. Love is a force. Love is strength. Love is the steel that binds lives together.

To love and to be loved is the backbone of any successful and valuable life.

Love takes on many forms – and I discussed this in my article – What Love Is & What Love Isn’t – but true love is more about the give than the take.

The reason so many people in our world ‘fall out of live’ is because they have forgotten that love – in order to be successful and long-lasting – requires of them to give, give, give, and give some more with at times no promise of it being returned to them.

But the very fact that the law of sowing and reaping is a reality – the more you give the more you will ultimately receive – if you persist.

This is the value of love.

So stop trying to become successful. Seek first to be valuable.

For you to discuss: How have you begun to add value to your life?

Motivational Memo Blog

It turns out Garth Brooks was right. When you have friends in low places, you’ll have plenty of company to help you drown your blues away. But did you ever consider that your friends are contributing to your problems? Research shows that who you are is a function of who you know. Your friends help shape your outlook, values, emotions and behaviors. Their influence acts like an invisible hand that can either pull you down and thwart your efforts to reach your goals or give you a physical and psychological boost to help you create the life you want. Psychologists call this invisible hand “emotional contagion” or “social contagion,” and it can work for or against you. Learn how to avoid its death grip and start letting social contagion help you create a richer life.

News flash! Your income, weight, happiness and professional success are the average of your best five friends. When you hang out with rich, fit, happy and successful friends, guess what happens? They rub off on you. More specifically, social contagion says their emotions and behavioral attitudes rub off on you. If you think about this, it makes sense.

Parents have long known to be careful of who Johnny befriends, knowing that the wrong crowd could sway little Johnny to do things he might not be inclined to do on his own. Of course, once we grow up, we’re sophisticated and mature enough to not let outside forces shape us, right? Woops.

Emotions and attitudes are infectious. Have you ever brainstormed with somebody really creative and found yourself becoming more creative? That’s why having a workout partner is so successful. You pull each other up and shape each other’s attitudes and behaviors. You instinctually want to order the chili-cheese fries but at the last minute decide to order what your more fit and healthy friend orders instead. However, social contagion also has a dark side. Ever been around a bunch of Debbie Downers? What happens to your creativity, outlook and ideas. They turn to rubbish.

So what’s the takeaway? How can you exploit social contagion to help you create a richer life? You need to be more conscious about who is in your life. You wouldn’t let a stranger in your house to rob you, so why would you let a colleague or “friend” rob you of your best life, something much more valuable than your big screen TV and Bee Gee’s record collection? It’s time you give the finger to those people in your life that are dragging you down — kindly, but firmly, pointing them toward the door.

Sound too harsh? Social contagion says emotions, attitudes and behaviors are contagious and can spread from one person to another like a virus that causes the flu. Do you go out of your way to be around people who can make you sick? No, of course not. Then why risk being infected by those in your life that spew their negative attitudes and behaviors onto you?

But how do you know who’s a friend and who’s a foe? There are only two types of people in this world, and the sooner you discover this, the happier, more fulfilled and successful you’ll become — even if it means dumping your best friend, neighbor, or, yes, even your mother.

The “friend” types are what I call Energizers. These are people that lift you up, give you energy, make you want to be a better person, inspire you, make you feel good about yourself and your life, encourage you to take risks, and motivate you to achieve your goals and dreams.

The “foe” types are what I call Leeches. These are people who suck the energy from you, who make you feel bad about yourself and your life, complain, are negative, gossip, talk you into doing nothing, and bring you down.

The next step isn’t rocket science. You need to rid your life of Leeches and replace them with Energizers. Yes, it’s really that simple. It might not be easy, but it’s simple. If you’re struggling with eliminating the Leeches in your life, then give them a second chance. Tell them that you’re on a mission to reach your goals and that you need positivity, constructive feedback and support. If they’re not willing or able to do this for you, cut them loose. They’ll be okay. They’ll have plenty of friends to drown their blues away.

Are you ready to create more money, time, energy, and passion in your life? Learn how to live your best life now with these free resources:

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PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement| PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

There is a significant correlation between your social skills and your success in any area of life. With good social skills, it’s easier to make friends, build strong relationships and get ahead in your career.

If you lack social skills, it’s important to learn how to build social skills. In this article, I’m going to reveal to you the 5 most effective ways I know for building social skills, based on my experience as a social confidence coach.

1. Practice

Developing any ability is largely a matter of practice. In order to develop your social skills, you need to spend a lot of time interacting with others.

By meeting new people, conversing with them and getting to know them, you develop your intuition about people and you gradually become better at attuning to them and building a connection with them.

You may be tempted to avoid social interactions because you think you lack social skills, but unfortunately, this only keeps you lacking social skills. The key to improving them is to interact with others no matter how capable you are right now.

2. Take Risks

It’s not enough to just interact with others. It’s central to also take risks when doing so. This means expressing your true thoughts and feelings, and behaving in an authentic manner.

This is important because if you just stick to behaving during a social interaction in ways that are very strict and safe, you don’t really experiment and explore the possibilities. And this makes it harder for your social skills to expand.

You really want to express your entire personality and notice how others react, in order to wise up socially. If you have trouble in this area, I advise you to learn how to be yourself and little by little to become more expressive.

3. Ask for Feedback

It’s hard to adjust your interpersonal skills when you don’t understand exactly how people see you and what effect certain sides of your personality have on them. This is where feedback comes in.

Ask people you know and you trust to give you feedback. To give you their perspective on how you come across socially, on your strengths and your weaknesses. They can do this casually while chatting, or fill in some sort of feedback form you can devise.

Collect a number of feedbacks and look at the information you acquired. It will help you understand yourself, others and social interactions better. And this is how to build social skills.

4. Interact with Socially Skilled People

One of the best ways to gain social skills is through modeling others. You interact with people who have good social skills, you study their mannerisms and you learn from them.

So, seek to meet individuals who are people savvy and hang out with them a lot. You’ll notice that just by doing this, your social skills will go up.

And if on top of this, you’ll also study them intentionally and try on for size pieces of their conduct, these skills will go up even faster. Socially skilled individuals are an infinite source of wisdom.

5. Work on Specific Goals

There is quite a wide array of social skills and trying to develop them all at once doesn’t yield results. You’re spreading yourself too thin.

A much better approach is to pick one or two specific skills at a time and work on improving them. Only when you’ve made enough progress with them, you can advance to other interpersonal skills.

This means you don’t want to learn merely how to build social skills, but also ways to build the specific social skills that interest you the most. Setting specific goals and working on them is the best way to get results.

As your social skills build, you’ll find yourself feeling more confident in social settings and connecting easier with others. These skills will open up a wide range of opportunities in your life. All you have to do is take advantage of them.

Eduard Ezeanu is a social confidence coach. He teaches people how to overcome shyness, build social skills and live life to the fullest. He also writes on his blog, People Skills Decoded.

PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement| PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement