Lumpuckeroo

It’s gossip, turf wars, water cooler talk, and the chronic complainer no one can stand. When you talk with people about the organizations they work for, it’s common to hear about the “Drama” plaguing their companies: the energy-draining behaviors that keep people from focusing on the creative projects and basic business practices that make the company successful.

If we could just get through the drama, the business decisions and real work isn’t that hard…

It’s easy to blame drama on others.  After all, you’re the good guy in these dynamics; why don’t they get it?  One of the most difficult challenges for aspiring leaders is to “own their stuff”—to acknowledge that they are equally responsible for creating any situation where drama exists.

I learned this lesson working on a writing project with another author – my dad. He had some great ideas that I was happy to work with. But then he became controlling. It was easy for me to see how things were falling apart – and it was his fault! He was the one who wasn’t listening. He was the one who was setting impossible deadlines. I was ready to take all I knew about eliminating drama and apply it to him.

Most drama is caused by four primary energy-draining personalities that sabotage workplace collaboration and synergy: the Complainer, the Controller, the Cynic and the Caretaker.  The Complainer is the one who is never at fault – not enough time, resources or support. The Controller has to be in charge – perhaps micromanaging, sometimes being the bully. The Cynic must be right; often pointing out how others’ ideas will never work and making fun of the person who brought it up. The Caretaker wants to be liked so much that they say yes to everything, which becomes a problem when they bite off more than they can chew and they miss deadlines.

Like me, most people want to start with the question: how to I help others change? But, we have found that before you can guide others, you have to take inventory of your interaction strengths and the ways you sabotage relationships. The strength inventory is usually easy. It’s fun to appreciate your talent and amazing ability to do what you do. The sabotage inventory is more difficult. It requires the vulnerability and courage to seek others’ candid observations and advice about your behavior.

Taking my own advice, I asked myself what my part was in creating the drama. I wondered which Drama personalities I was using that were sabotaging us. I noticed how I had fallen into Complainer. I didn’t have enough time to do everything he asked and his requests were too hard. I realized that I would have micromanaged someone acting the way I was. Then I saw my Cynic. The enthusiasm I had at the beginning of the project had become critical… I saw everything wrong with what we were doing, but didn’t offer any suggestions to change. Once I saw myself in these drama roles, I could shift into taking responsibility – renegotiating our deadlines and making suggestions for how we could change the writing to be better.

By identifying and correcting the four drama roles (Complainer, Controller, Cynic, Caretaker), you are well on your way to eliminating drama. If you want even more clarity, invite your work colleagues, family members, and friends to give you timely, direct feedback.

Here is a quick way to start looking at how these drama roles show up for you.  Ask friends and coworkers:

-       Where do you see me complaining? Not taking responsibility for my situation?

-       Where do you see me controlling? Taking over and micromanaging?

-       Where do you see be being cynical? Discounting others or being sarcastic?

-       Where do you seem me caretaking? Rescuing others instead of letting them do things on their own?

You can also take a free drama assessment for yourself. Let me know what you find out about yourself. And what can you do to change?

Kaley Klemp and Jim Warner are the authors of The Drama-Free Office: A Guide to Healthy Collaboration with Your Team, Coworkers, and Boss. You can get a free sample of the book on Facebook. Follow them on twitter. Read more about them at www.dramafreeoffice.com. Or, just get the book on Amazon.

PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement| PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Let me start off by saying that being nervous can be a good thing. Being nervous suggests that you may be stepping over the boundary of your comfort zone, which as Timo Kiander outlined in his post last week is something we should all be striving to do.

However, sometimes the negative association we have with being nervous can actually prevent us from raising ourselves to new levels. One solution is to reduce the intensity of your nervousness so that it does not limit you from reaching your potential.

Over the past year I’ve carried out a lot of research around the topic of how to control nerves for a book that I’ve recently launched on the topic of meeting new people called Get Noticed. Some of the most interesting insights I gained came from a meeting I had with a public speaking coach who taught me two very important things.

The first thing I learned was that in order to take control of your nerves you need to detach whatever it is that is making you nervous from the situation. Those things may be physical traits or doubting emotions that make you nervous, regardless of what they may be, you must find ways of reducing the focus on these elements and highlighting your strengths instead. Secondly, you have to be prepared and confident about what you’re doing.

Here are six tips taken from Get Noticed on how you can destroy your nerves:

Detach What Makes You Nervous From the Situation

1) Focus on the objective of the situation

We often get nervous over silly things like what other people are going to think about our looks. A good solution to prevent this is to focus on the objective of the situation opposed to focusing on how the person in the situation may be feeling. For example, if you’re going to a job interview, think about what they’re looking for and how you can achieve the job offer through ticking the boxes in their mental checklist.

2) Have a friend with you

An excellent way of detaching yourself from a situation is to have a friend or someone you can talk to help you focus on the objective. If you’re nervous about meeting someone, talk to your friend before hand and then analyze how it went afterwards. This will help you focus on the outcome of the interaction from a more rational ‘outsiders’ perspective.

3) Keep yourself busy

One of the main things that make us nervous is having the time to be nervous. For events that are non-optional and inevitably going to make us nervous, the best technique to limit nerves is to distract yourself.  Keeping your mind focused on things that don’t make you nervous will stops your nerves from intensifying as the event gets closer.

Be Prepared and Confident

4) Know what you want to say

Ask any public speaker what their best tip for delivering a great presentation is and the chances are they’ll tell you ‘be prepared’. Knowing what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it prevents you having to think on your feet and worry about what comes next. If you have a job interview coming up, prepare yourself with answers to likely questions the interviewer may ask.

5) Be positive and assume the best

When we think about something, we tend to manifest it into our reality. Everything you’ve ever done, from walking into a coffee shop to buying a new car, began in the form of a thought. Think positively about what it is you’re nervous about and you will notice yourself become less nervous and more likely to succeed.

6) Wear an outfit you feel confident in

When you look great, you feel great. Dressing well shows others that you respect yourself and the people you’re around. Wearing well-fitted clothes that project your personal tastes and styles helps to fill you with confidence and reduce your nervousness.

I’d be interested in hearing your tips on how you tackle nervous situations and whether any of these tactics have been effective for you. Feel free to drop me a tweet at @MarcusATaylor or leave a comment in the comments section below if you have any questions!

This guest post was written by Marcus Taylor. Marcus is a co-author of the book Get Noticed and head of social media at SEOptimise.
PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement| PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Just as we all need physical exercise, so too we all need mental exercise.  Just as our body becomes flabby from lack of physical exercise, so too our mind becomes “flabby” from lack of mental exercise.  Absent mental exercise, we’re likely to become bored or even depressed.    The good news is that we have many ways of exercising our mind.  Let’s take a look…

• Working

Work provides us with lots of mental exercise.  As workers, we stretch our mental muscles while performing all but the most medial tasks.  And as we’ve largely completed moving from a manufacturing economy to a service / information economy, those medial tasks have become much fewer.  Thus, the vast majority of us enjoy mentally stimulating work.  And through work, we get to stretch our minds for a very long time.  Consider that we spend eight or more hours per day, five or more days per week, for some four decades or so, working.

• Volunteer Opportunities

Many volunteer opportunities offer a significant intellectual challenge.  My wife, Wendy, and I teach English to Hispanic adults in our community.  With those students who are more advanced, I’m able to converse in English.  But for those students who are beginners, I need to offer instruction in Spanish.  Sure, it’s more difficult for me to communicate in Spanish, my second language.  But doing so provides me with a stimulating mental exercise.

• Reading

Reading means thinking, and thinking means mental stimulation.  A visit to your local library or bookstore, or to the website of an on-line book seller, will overwhelm you with the enormity of available reading material.  I happen to be a news junkie, so I read a number of news magazines and newspapers.  I also enjoy reading periodicals specific to my interests.  Reading, by the way, is especially stimulating when followed by related, meaningful conversation.  And this leads to…

• Choosing friends carefully

Each of us has a few favorite interests about which we enjoy conversing.  And each of us (hopefully) has a friend or two who share one or more of our favorite interests.  If so, we have the ingredients for stimulating conversation.  Caution though, not every interested person is an interesting person.  Some people simply talk without saying anything.  I know a few such people.  I’ll bet you do too.  To enjoy mental stimulation through conversation, we need to be selective about those with whom we spend our time.

• Attending class

Whatever our interest, there’s a class to teach us more about it.  College degree programs, adult education classes, on-line classes, or audio tapes in the car.  The “how” doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that learning involves thinking.  Wendy’s Uncle Wes is 90 years old.  He continues to take two courses each semester at the college near his home.  Hats off to Uncle Wes!

• Writing

Perhaps the most in-depth mental exercise of all, writing calls for an exactness of thought.  Obviously, such thinking is intellectually challenging.  And it really doesn’t matter what you write.  You can write a blog, or articles for a magazine, or even an entire book.  It all requires thought.  Again, mental exercise.

• Embracing new technologies

Learning new technologies requires that one “climb a learning curve.”  Though at times frustrating, it certainly requires thought.  As for me, some day, I’m really going to figure out how to use my Photoshop Elements Software Program.

• Participating in hobbies

Some friends of ours, who are very much into birding, invited us to attend the annual bird festival in Eastern Oregon.  So, last spring, we hooked up our travel trailer and headed east.  Well no, I don’t think they’ve converted me into a bird watcher.  But both Wendy and I had a grand time.  We saw a countless number of bald eagles and we learned a whole lot about a number of bird species.  In fact, if you want to know how to recognize a vulture in flight, just ask me.  Yep, intellectual stimulation.

• Attending cultural events

Attending live theater stimulates thinking and encourages lively conversation.  The same is true for attending museums, lectures and concerts.  Once, with lots of encouragement from Wendy, I attended a ballet.  While it wasn’t the most fun evening of my life, I did come away with an interesting story – The fellow seated to my right, apparently attending at the encouragement of his wife, leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Every man in this room is in love.”

How about you?  Are you getting your share of mental exercise?  And if so, how?

- – – – – – – – – – – – -

Bill Birnbaum is author of, “A Lifetime of Small Adventures: Stories of adventure, misadventure, and lessons learned along the way.”  He writes a blog at: www.AdventureRetirement.com.  Bill lives in Sisters, Oregon with his adventurous wife, Wendy, a red kayak and a well-worn pair of hiking boots.

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PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement| PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

What the heck is success, anyway? Everyone talks about it – all the self-help gurus want it for you (and them) – but what exactly are we talking about it here?

What does success actually mean to you?

Well in this success article I’d like to explore what success means to me, why it’s important, and how this might help you in your ‘quest for success’.

And, as ever, to help me I’ve enlisted the services of 3 inspirational quotes – they successfully made it here where thousands of other success quotes failed (if ya get me!).

So these success quotes REALLY should be able to help, here, then…

Success Quotes #1:
“A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in on the experience.” — Elbert Hubbard

Yes, I believe that one of the myths of success is that it should be about avoiding failure. Failure to make a great impression with that pretty woman (or interesting man) you just met. Failure to complete that project at work as well as you’d liked. Failure to be the ‘fun person’ you think other people are.

None of these ‘failures’ are really failures, they’re just things that happened differently to the way we first imagined.

The great thing is, though, that people that succeed actively seek these so-called ‘failures’, so that they can learn. Any dating guru you can think of went through a whole series of ‘failures’ before they found their success. (And most personal growth gurus usually got their start from some kind of massive ‘failure’ also.)

As with most things self-help it ain’t what happens to ya that matters but how you respond.

And maybe the only ‘failure’ going on in your lack of success is not learning well enough from your failures (or, maybe, not failing enough).

Food for thought, don’t you think…

Success Quotes #2:
“Success doesn’t come to you… you go to it.” — Marva Collins

Yes, you need to get out there and give it a go. Think that thought – outrageous or otherwise – and put it into action. And learn from the experience; each experience taking you close to ‘it’, to success. (Think of Thomas Edison’s famous 10,000 ways something won’t work, in his quest for success.)

So you need to turn up, when it comes to success. And that can mean failing more, but it definitely means giving it a go. So, making this a little personal, things I’ve thought but done nothing about in the last few years include:

* Learning to play an instrument (had a few singing lessons, but still)

* Learning to speak a new language (been on-and-off with learning Spanish for nearly 20 years can you believe!)

* Becoming a ‘performer’ (did my first open mic stand-up comedy this year, and I go regularly to Toastmasters, but I’m a long way off from even knowing what kind of performer I want to be)

See? It’s easy to have ideas and then give up at the first hurdle, it really is. Success comes from not giving up on these ideas, from finding ways of reminding yourself of your thoughts on a regular basis so you end up taking action (even if it means having to write a success article, like I’m doing).

Success finds a way, IF you turn up – day in, day out!…

Success Quotes #3:
“There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.” — Christopher Morley

Which leads me to that thorny question of what success is anyway. Which is quite easy, really, because success is this…

* Success is whatever it is YOU think it is

Which means success is NOT thinking other people’s thoughts, and living out other people’s dreams. You have to work out what you want, and make it happen. Even if, at the end of it all, all you end up doing is ferrying passengers from one part of the river to the other (as Siddharta did in my favourite novel of the same name by Herman Hesse).

Success is for you to define! And I hope you will, starting today…

It’s true. I really am a simple guy. I believe that everything it takes to become more successful either personally or professionally is simple. Idiot simple, in fact.

Want to lose weight? Eat less – exercise more. Simple.

Want more money? Earn more – spend less. Simple.

Want to be more successful? Stop doing the things that keep you from being successful. Again, simple.

I could take that basic idea and attack every single area of your personal or business life. There is nothing complicated about success. We make it complicated. We even want it to be complicated. The reason we want it to be complicated is that believing success is complicated gives us a reason not to be successful – after all, it’s complicated!!!!!

Stop believing all that complicated crap and come over to my side where life is much simpler. Come over to my way of thinking where money is easy, success is simple and where every problem you have can be solved with simple solutions.

Before you start to disagree with me about how simple life is, please notice what I am saying. I am using the word SIMPLE. Never have I used the word EASY. I do not believe there is anything EASY about being successful. Easy is much different than simple.

Is it a simple thing to eat less? Absolutely. Is it easy to do? No.

Is it a simple concept to exercise more? Sure! Is it easy to do? Not at all.

It’s HARD to eat less and exercise more. I know! I try to do it every day and it’s HARD for me to do and I know it’s hard for you to do too! But I also know it’s simple.

I never kid around when it comes to telling people that success is hard work. I know it is because I have worked hard my whole life. Still do. I do things right now that my buddies of similar stature in the business would never do. I am not too good to work hard. I go to my big seminars where I have a full staff of people packing and unpacking books and other products and I am right there with them. Lifting, carrying, packing and unpacking and selling stuff just like they do. Do I have to? No. Then why do I? Because there is work to be done and I’m not too good to do it.

Every aspect of success requires hard work. I recently did a big Wealth Seminar with a major seminar company where one of the guys on the program had a booth that displayed the headline, “The QUICK and EASY Way To Become a Millionaire.” He was selling a program that cost thousands of dollars and I knew it was all total BS. I knew he was preying on the fears of the crowd to take their money. What he was doing certainly wasn’t illegal or maybe even unethical or immoral by most people’s standards. But what he was doing just wasn’t right by my personal standards.

I went on stage and told people to be careful of anyone who promises that being a millionaire is quick and easy. I know lots of millionaires and everyone of them would agree with me that becoming a millionaire is always slow and hard. I also told them that I knew the others speakers at the conference would sell ten times more product than I did because they were promising the crowd that they could all become millionaires and I wasn’t.

The other guys said ANYONE could become a millionaire and that it wasn’t hard at all. Those are lies and I told the crowd that. I knew that few would buy my products because I wasn’t going to kiss their butts and promise something that wasn’t true. Not just anyone can become a millionaire. Why? Because few will work hard enough to make it happen. I was right, each of these guys sold hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of their products and I sold about a tenth of that.

One of the speakers came up to me at the end and said I was pretty rough on the other speakers saying what I said. I told him I couldn’t sleep at night promising people something that I knew they couldn’t actually make happen. I told him I was just out to tell people the truth whether anyone liked it or not. He asked me how much I sold and he told me he sold twenty times that much. He was proud. I thought he should have been ashamed. The people who bought my stuff actually got some value and some truth.

That’s what I am always going to do. I promise you that I will never try to sell you an idea that you can’t make happen with some hard work. I won’t price gouge you and take advantage of anyone’s fears. I will offer you a whole lot of value at a decent price and I’ll openly tell you that I am going to make a little dough along the way.

I think it’s fair if I sell you a good product at a fair price that I make some money too. I won’t lie and say it’s easy. I won’t blow smoke up your skirt and tell you that having a positive attitude will fix your problems. I will always tell you my version of the truth. My version is simple and involves lots and lots of hard work. Did I mention hard work? Again – it is always going to take hard work!

That’s why many people don’t like what I have to say. Yeah, I know, who could possibly not love every word, right? Believe it or not, it’s true. People don’t like what I have to say because I promise hard work is the key to changing your life. Hard work is never going to sell like positive attitude.

So there you go. A simple guy with simple solutions to all of life’s problems and a promise that you have to work your butt off to make it happen.

Let me summarize my simple principles of success for you right now:

* Your life is your own damn fault.
* Take responsibility for it.
* Learn what you need to do to fix it.
* Take action on what you’ve learned.

Know that hard work on the right things is the key to changing your results.

Enjoy the results.
__________________
Larry Winget is a five-time New York Times/Wall Street Journal bestselling author. He is a member of the International Speaker Hall Of Fame. He has starred in his own television series and appeared in national television commercials. Larry is a regular contributor on many television news shows on the topics of money, personal success, business and parenting. Find out more at www.larrywinget.com

-what are your thoughts on the ideas above? What are some ideas you have found along your success journey that that you would like to share with others?

Motivation Articles, Essays, Tips and Advice

Yep. I said it. I just told you to shut up and stop whining. Not many people would dare begin an article with a line like that. But then again, I’m not like most people. I am The Pit bull of Personal Development® and the author of the Wall Street Journal #1 Bestseller, Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get A Life. I am not like most self-help authors and speakers.

My approach is a bit different. You won’t agree with all I say. You definitely won’t like all I have to say. That’s good. I want to make you uncomfortable. In fact, I want to make you a little angry – maybe you already are. Because I know when you are angry and uncomfortable, then you will begin to think. And that’s what I really want – for you to think. So let me give you a quick overview of my approach to improving your life and business.

Shut Up. It is impossible to talk and listen at the same time. So stop talking and start listening. Listen to the experts. Listen to those who know more than you do. Listen to great music. Listen to your Self. Listen to your God. Great information is out there just looking for an opportunity to reach you but if you don’t stop talking and start listening, it may never find you. Then know that there are times you should not listen. For instance: Don’t listen to anyone who wants to put you down for any reason. You are plenty good at doing that all on your own; you don’t need anyone else’s help.

Stop Whining. We have become a society of blamers. People get fat and blame the fast food companies instead of the fact they eat too much. Sales people don’t make quota and blame the customer instead of the fact they didn’t make enough sales calls. Business owners blame poor economic conditions for the fact that business is off instead of the fact that their customer service is atrocious.

Here is the plain and simple truth: Everything in your life and business is your own fault. You created it through your thinking, your words and your actions. There is only one place to go to lay blame and that is to the mirror.

Want more? Try this one on: You like it the way it is – regardless of how bad it is. If you didn’t like it, you would have changed it already.

Ouch! That hurts, doesn’t it? Good. Now you are ready to create the life and results you really want.

Get A Life. Want to know why most people are not living lives of success, happiness and abundance? There are only three reasons: They are stupid. They are lazy. They don’t care.

I dare you to come up with a reason other than those. Let me explain. Few people are actually stupid. Everyone knows enough to be successful at something. So it is rare that someone is really too dumb to be successful. The problem is not that we don’t know, the problem is that we don’t do what we already know… which means we are lazy.

How sad to know how to be successful and be too lazy to do it. It must mean you don’t care enough to be successful. How do you explain that to your family? How can you look yourself in the eye? Was that rerun of Seinfeld really all that important? Could you really afford to take that nap? Don’t you care enough to do all you can?

Face it. You could do more. Stop telling yourself how busy you are. Stop the excuses. Just admit to yourself that you could do more than you are doing. You could turn off the TV, come in a little earlier, stay a little later, and work a little harder. The issue is not could you but will you?

Live by design, not by default. Most people spend more time planning their day off than they do their lives. How pitiful. Stop right now and make a list of the kind of results you want to see in your life. Write down where you want to live. The kind of house you want to live in. The kind of car you want to drive. You amount of money you want to earn.

Write down how much you want to weigh. Got it? Now write down what you are doing to make those things happen. Don’t lie. Just tell yourself honestly what you are doing to make the life you really want become a reality. I bet you aren’t doing all that much. Why not? Stop making excuses, stop whining about all the reasons you can’t and aren’t able to have the life you want and start doing something about it. Action changes things. Just start right now. It’s that simple.

“But you don’t understand!” I have read over 3,000 books on success. And I have concluded that most self-help is far too much about the help and not nearly enough about the self. Success is up to you. Period. No excuses accepted. No matter how bad your story is, no matter what you have been through, no matter what tragedy you have experienced, I will guarantee you I can find someone with a sadder story than yours and they figured out a way to be successful.

Too tough? At this point you are probably saying to yourself, “This guy isn’t very motivational.” Good. I don’t believe much in motivation. I am just not sure one person can motivate another to move from where they are to someplace else. I know I can’t. However, I will guarantee you that I can make you so irritated with where you are that you will do almost anything to be someplace else. That’s why I don’t call myself a motivational speaker. In fact, I have trademarked that I am The World’s Only Irritational Speaker®.

Besides, most motivational speakers aren’t telling you the truth. You know it, they know it, and I know it. Want me to prove it? Look at what they are saying:

Motivational Myth #1. As long as you have a good, positive attitude everything in your life will be all right. Wrong. I have had a good, positive attitude my whole life and still had a lot of bad things happen to me. A positive attitude won’t keep anything from happening to you. It will only help you deal with what happens to you. Besides, you can be positive and be positively wrong, positively lazy or positively stupid.

Motivational Myth #2. You can be whatever you want to be, have whatever you want to have and do whatever you want to do. Wrong again. You can be, do and have what you have the talent for and what you apply effort towards. If you are short, fat and ugly, that whole supermodel thing probably isn’t going to happen for you. To tell people that anything is possible is to set them up for disaster and disappointment. However, I will say this: No matter what your capabilities are, you can be more than you are right now, do more than you are doing right now and have more than you have right now. And what’s wrong with that?

Motivational Myth #3. Just give 110%. It can’t be done. 100% is all there is. You can’t do more than all there is. To imply that you can is ridiculous. Again, though, this is not a problem for most people. Most people give far less than 100%.

Motivational Myth #4. There are no problems, only opportunities. Where are these people from? I have problems. Really serious issues. Bet you do, too. I find it insulting for anyone to tell me otherwise. Not all problems are opportunities – they are just ugly old problems that must be dealt with and overcome.

So what now? Look yourself in the eye and tell yourself the truth. Admit you could do more. Know you can achieve more both personally and professionally if you will only stop whining and stop blaming and start taking personal responsibility for your results. I believe all of us deserve the best and that to accept anything less than the best for ourselves means we haven’t applied ourselves to the best of our abilities.

“Why should I believe you?” This is the best question anyone could possibly ask me. And the answer: You shouldn’t believe me. You should just take action on as many ideas and concepts as you can and see which ones work for you. If mine work, great – you are ahead of where you were. If they don’t, you haven’t lost much, have you?
________________
Larry Winget is a five-time New York Times/Wall Street Journal bestselling author. He is a member of the International Speaker Hall Of Fame. He has starred in his own television series and appeared in national television commercials. Larry is a regular contributor on many television news shows on the topics of money, personal success, business and parenting. Find out more at www.larrywinget.com

-Consider some actions you can take now which will move you closer to the destination you want to go. Take a moment to write out where you want to go, what it will look like when you get there (so you’ll recognize it when you get there) and actions, real actions you can use to guide you along your journey. Share your thoughts and feedback on the ideas above in the comments section below.

Motivation Articles, Essays, Tips and Advice

Note: This is a guest post from J.D. Meier of Sources of Insight

Thinking is great.  But action makes things happen.  One of the biggest differences with people that successfully grow, expand themselves, and reach their goals, is that they consistently take action.

Action takes energy though, so where does that energy come from?  It comes from within.  Inspiration is a powerful force, and inspired action is one of the most powerful ways to motivate yourself.  It beats “carrots and sticks.”   Carrots and sticks are usually external forms of motivation.  Instead, if you inspire yourself, you light your fire from the inside out.

Here are seven ways to light the fire and inspire yourself to take action:

1. Be decisive. Decide.  Make a decision and “go.”  If you waffle back and forth on things, or can’t make up your mind, you spend a lot of energy in analysis paralysis.  Instead, decide on something you want, and test it.  Take action and test your results.  The act of making a decision and taking action will build momentum, and fuel your fire and fan your flames.  Rather than trying to figure everything out up front, start taking action, test your path, and learn and adapt along the way.

2. Act like you mean it. Maybe you want to get in great shape, but are you acting like you mean it?  How many hours are you putting in each week?  What routines are you trying?  Maybe you want to be a rockstar at work.  Who are your mentors and models?  What bold actions are you taking that walk the talk?  If you act like you mean it, you’ll make better choices, show more confidence, and build energy that helps you spiral up.

3. Draw from inspirational words of wisdom. Quotes are your friend.  Whenever you need to summon your inner-strength, it helps if you have little one-liner reminders that keep you going.  One of my favorites is by Winston Churchill, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

4. Stand on the “shoulders of giants.” Find some role models and heroes to use to lift your spirits and paint a canvas of possibility.  Just having some examples under your belt can inspire you to new levels.  For example, for me, I always look to the amazing physical and philosophical accomplishments of Bruce Lee.  Chances are, no matter what problem or challenge you’re up against, somebody’s been there and done that.  If not exactly, then at least you can draw from similar experiences.

5. Play the favorite scenes in your mind. We all have favorite scenes from movies over the years.  It’s those scenes of triumph, or courage, or an incredible move that inspires us.  Have these at your mental fingertips and draw from them.  Continue to fill and expand your collection by paying attention to the scenes that move you.  You can also draw from scenes in real life.  We all have our shining moments.  Keep those close, and think of them as flash cards to whip out when you need it most.  Simply see the scene in your mind, remember the feeling, and use that to fire you up.

6. Shift to the future. Dwelling on the past is a quick way to bring yourself down.  To lift yourself up, switch to the future and envision the possibilities.  See what’s possible.  This is where hope springs from.  By having a compelling vision, you have something to shoot for.  Now instead of having to “push” yourself to something, you will literally be “pulled” by it.  Like a magnet.  The more compelling the vision, the stronger the “pull” will be.  A few simple ways to shift to the future are … “How can I solve this?” … or “What would good look like?” … or “What’s the end in mind?”  Questions are a powerful way to shift gears.

7. Connect to your values. You can connect everything you do to your values.  This is a powerful way to inspire yourself with skill.  For example, let’s say you value “continuous learning” or “growth”.  Whenever you take on a task, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” or “How can I improve this?”  Simply by connecting to your values, you tap into your inner source of power.  Your values fuel you and get you jazzed.  For example, one of my values is, “adventure”, so at work, I turn every project into an “epic adventure” and make it about the journey.  There’s always a big villain or challenge to conquer, and an epic win to shoot for.  And plenty of “growth” along the way.

These are proven practices for inspiring yourself with skill.  Now the question of course is, what are you going to do with all your inspiration?

J.D. Meier is a Principal Program Manager on the Microsoft Enterprise Strategy team.  He shares proven practices for personal excellence at Sources of Insight.com (http://SourcesOfInsight.com.)  He’s the author of eight technical books, and his first non-technical book is Getting Results the Agile Way, which you can read for free at Getting Results.com (http://GettingResults.com.)

Life Optimizer

The most common question I receive when coaching people is how to sustain motivation and how to let go of stress.

“How do you stay motivated after the initial rush of inspiration has faded and the hard work begins?”
“I have so much to do today, how can I not be stressed?”

Without motivation, producing quality results is near impossible.
With motivation you can accomplish extra-ordinary things and become hugely successful.
I have had times when I have barely been able to get myself out of bed, because I didn’t feel as though I had a reason to get up.

I have been through times when I can’t sleep because there is so much fun to do!

Motivation comes and goes, but there are a lot of things we can do to keep it for a longer time and keep the lowest levels of motivation from getting too low.

Motivation at work
When I got my first sales job I was very, very motivated. I couldn’t wait to get started.
I started working hard from day one and pushed myself harder than I ever had before.

Things went well for me, for about six months. Then I realized that this job wasn’t really for me, there were a lot of reasons I didn’t like the job, but the main one was the atmosphere at the company. The business plan was to “trick” customers into buying, which didn’t sit well with me.

My motivation started to wane and so did my results.

I stayed at the company much too long, over a year before I quit, but when I found a new job with a better culture and product, my motivation came back.

Since then I have learned several techniques that help keep motivation high.

You cannot motivate someone; they can only motivate themselves
This is both a true and false statement (at least in my belief).
Motivation comes from within, it is our own driving force, but there are tools that can be taught to help you increase and focus you motivation.

Clarity

The clearer your goals are the more motivated you will be, you will have a sense of purpose, a reason to work harder and to produce results.

As we progress through this book we will be working more and more on bringing clarity to your goals, this will bring you the greatest burst of motivation and the strength to achieve them.
Before we get to that stage though I want you to read these 5 exercises on how to increase your motivation, by using these before and after you have set your goals and made your plans, you will get an even stronger effect from it.

Write down all your projects
To get a better overview of why you are stressed it is important to know where you should start.

Two years ago I was having an introductory meeting with a new student and she told me something very interesting:

“I really want to become better at time management and I have worked at it a lot, I have a weekly plan, I prioritize it, but still when I get ready to start I just feel like there are so many other things I should do. I feel overwhelmed and start running in circles in my mind. All of a sudden an hour has gone by and I haven’t done anything, is there any way to cure this”

This is a very common problem, I am sure you have felt it yourself at one point or another.

Know everything that needs to be done
Keeping an overview of everything that needs to be done makes it easier to focus at one at a time.

This might feel stressful
The first time my wife listed everything she needed to do it was because I had told her to do it about 2000 times, too shut me up she finally did it. The reason she didn’t want to do it was that she was afraid that looking at that list would make it all more real and make her even more stressed.

It is keeping it in your mind that makes you stressed.

When you have to constantly think about and remind yourself about everything that needs to be done you become stressed, you can never put anything away.
Getting it onto a list makes it a lot easier, you can put it aside for the time being knowing you will come back to it soon.

You know what you are working on
Listen to your mind, what are you thinking about? What projects need to be done?
Write down everything, small and large on a list.

Identifying next actions
By identifying next actions you will have an easy actionable list. Things become smaller; you can do these small things to move the project forward. It also helps you from having to think about what needs to be done every time you pick up a new task.

You know you aren’t missing something
When you know you aren’t missing anything you can focus and start working on task number one. This will make you much more efficient and make that list smaller making you even less stressed.
Quickly you can start to get into a positive spiral and become more and more efficient.

Daniel M. Wood is a personal development coach and trainer. He has a background in Psychology, Sales, marketing and sports. Through his work with students around the world he has created the course “The Time Management Expert Course” that has helped hundreds of people decrease stress, increase their motivation and become a lot more efficient.

The course teaches you how to get control over your life and make room to be both spontaneous and relaxed.

Check out the course and see how it can help you.

PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement| PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Time management is the central skill of success. Your ability to manage your time, to focus and channel your energies on your highest value tasks, will determine your rewards and your level of accomplishment in life more than any other factor.

Success Leaves Tracks…
When I began searching for the secrets of success many years ago, I discovered an interesting principle: success leaves tracks. A wise man who had studied success for more than 50 years concluded that the greatest success principle of all was, “learn from the experts.”

Learn From the Experts…
If you want to be a big success in any area, find out what other successful people in that area are doing, and do the same things, until you get the same results. When I studied the interviews, speeches, biographies and autobiographies of successful men and women, I found that they all had one quality in common. They were all described as being “extremely well organized.” They used their time very, very well. They were highly productive and they got vastly more done in the same period of time than the average person.

Be Both Effective and Efficient…
High performing men and women were both effective and efficient. They did the right things, and they did them in the right way. They were constantly looking for ways to improve the quality and quantity of their output. As a result, their contribution to their organizations was vastly higher and therefore much better paid, than the contributions of the average person.

Action Exercises:
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, develop a study plan today to learn from the experts in your field. This can save you years of hard work.

Second, decide what is the most important thing to do, and then decide how to do it.
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Brian Tracy is one of the world’s leading authorities on personal and business success. His fast-moving talks and seminars are loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that you can apply immediately to get better results in every area. Be sure to visit the Brian Tracy web site.

-One of the important skills described in the above article was time management — how do you mange your time effectively? What works for you — and what doesn’t?

Motivation Articles, Essays, Tips and Advice

Have you ever wondered what makes someone influential?

Why did people follow Gandhi? Or Martin Luther King Jr.?

What makes leaders, entrepreneurs, politicians or salespeople influential?

These are the questions I have asked myself for years. In my career I have had a chance to work with and share the stage with some of the greatest influencers in the world and I’ve studied them. I’ve watched their way of being, their interactions, the way they treat people and I’ve tried to understand this elusive quality we call influence.

The great thing that I’ve discovered about influence is that it comes down to just three things. More importantly though, these are things that we control.

So if you want to be more influential, then work on improving the three C’s.

- Character

- Competence

- Communication

1st C – Character

Billionaire John Huntsman once said, “There are no moral shortcuts in the game of business – or life. There are, basically, three kinds of people: the unsuccessful, the temporarily successful, and those who become and remain successful. The difference is character.”

Influence is based on trust and people first need to have confidence in your character to trust you. Character is who you are. The word originally meant something that was engraved – on wood, on medal, or on one’s soul. During the time of Shakespeare the word began to be used for a part that an actor played. Characters acted out roles, wearing masks to hide their true identity.

The unfortunate truth is that many people treat their character today like they did in Shakespeare’s time. They try to compartmentalize their life, being one person in public, while they are someone totally different in private. Or they try to put on a show. The truth is, your true character always shows itself.

Your character is who you are in totality. Are you trustworthy? Are you a good person? Do you care about others?

When I think of the people who have had the most influence on me, their influence isn’t based in what they have; it comes from who they are.

We follow people because of their character.

Action Item:

To build your character, focus on your integrity. Be a person that people can trust and count on. Make a commitment today to follow through. Do what you said you would do, when you said you would do it, the way you said you would do it. When you follow through, people will gain confidence in who you are.

2nd C – Competence

Once people buy into who you are (character) they need to know that you have something to offer. Whether that is knowledge or skill (or both) – competence is essential for you to be influential.

Why would someone follow an incompetent person? Well it’s obvious, they wouldn’t.

In the book, Influencer the authors point out need for both character and competence. “People, including children, pay attention to individuals who possess two important qualities. First, these people are viewed as knowledgeable about the issue at hand. They tend to stay connected to their area of expertise, often through a variety of sources.

Second, opinion leaders are viewed as trustworthy. They don’t merely know a great deal about a certain area, but they also have other people’s best interest in mind. This means that they aren’t seen as using their knowledge to manipulate or harm, but rather to help. If others believe that you’re missing either of these two qualities, you won’t be very influential.”

Competence is a requisite to influence, and those who are influential understand that the more they more competent they become, the more influence they carry.

Action Item:

It is not sufficient just to be competent enough to get by. You need to be viewed as an opinion leader or an expert. To do that, I started early in my career taking at least 30 minutes everyday to study my profession. I wanted to know more than other people knew and be able to share that knowledge when needed. I didn’t always need to share what I knew but it added confidence because I was always ready.

3rd C – Communication

As an influencer, you have a message. Being able to communicate that message in a concise, engaging, compelling fashion is influence in action.

In communication there are so many areas to focus. Do you turn your presentations into conversations by engaging the audience? Is your message understandable? Is it memorable? Are you engaging emotion that causes people to take action? How is your eye contact? Tone of voice? Body language?

Those are all important but I think we often miss the point of communication.

John Maxwell wrote a great book titled, “Everyone Communicates, But Very Few Connect.” I love that title because it is true. And I think that when it comes to communication most people focus on perfection, but the true focus should be on connection. It is human connection that makes a difference in our message.

The fact is that we are all in the people business, and as our ability to communicate and connect improves, we will excel in the people business.

Anthony Robbins was right when he said, “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”

Action Item:

The best way that I have found to better my communication to record myself and play it back. When you record yourself and listen to what you say – it is extremely eye opening. You will know if you use filler words, if you sound confident, if you are clear and concise and if you are engaging. Would you buy from you? Would you take action on your message? Great communicators are born that way; they are constantly working on it. Make it a habit to record your self and play it back.
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Ty Bennett is the author of The Power of Influence. Described by Peter Vidmar as “How To Win Friends & Influence People for our day.” To learn more or get a copy of The Power of Influence — click here.

-what was your biggest takeaway or lesson you learned from the above article? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Motivation Articles, Essays, Tips and Advice